pout master

[I interrupt this blog with my blogarrhea]

Notice how guys swarm over freebies like bees groupie and Queen bee in migration to establish a new colony?

I'm no different.

I jumped to the idea of going on a free trip to Cameron Highlands last saturday and instantly became a pout master.

We have all seen pouts being the abercrombie of our faces in friendster and facebook. Some of us are even labelled as the pout slut due to too much pouts being displayed in our profile. You may want to stop the brutality on yourself and others. LOL. [i'm quite the facebooker these days].

Fortunately, I know my pouts are fugly, so you wont see pouts in any of my uploaded photos for the simple reason, they are not uploadable.

However, there is one exception to most limitations i set to myself. When i see yellow listed kids, I pout. Kids [or adults] who do not wash their hands after urinating is in my yellow list. Noted?

To my surprise, most of these generation Z kids have not discovered the pouting power in them! So thanks to me, they are now pouting their way to success!

Bla bloo Bla bloo, Bla haba bubu naa!

what the h- is congenital?

Exactly, right..? Nobody in the legal world can answer this one. Being the scare-anoid person that i am, even the idea of going to a medical check up had already scared the bejesus outta me.

So anyway, all went well except for my X-ray test. The result came out printed in Courier New font:

CHEST ( PA ) :

The heart size is normal.

No focal parenchymal lung lesion.

No hilar or mediastinal lymphadenopathy.

There is fusion of the right 2nd and 3rd ribs, likely congenital.

Freak-a-doodle out I became when i saw the last sentence, picked up the phone and rang my dad.

I read out the words in the last sentence loudly and s l o w l y so he could make out what I was trying to say.

Then i found out congenital means my 2nd and 3rd ribs were joined since birth. What????

What, am I like abnormal or something?? Hey who crushed my soft shell crab like ribs until it fused together 24 years ago??

I am going to take care of my ribs very carefully from now on. Nobody come near me, ya hear?? Nobody!

All SHIrTy Again!!!

Work is coming to get me on June 23rd!!!! I cant wait to get all shirty again!!!! hahahahahahaha *trembles but trying to hide it*

I need a lot of clothes to make me happy and motivated to go to work. Oh and make up too. And a NoNo-Nonsense looking bag.

I pray hard that my blurness will decrease and please please release me from the chandler syndrome i.e. making stupid jokes in front of strangers when i'm nervous.

If there is one advice i can give myself right now, it would be the exact same advice I gave to myself a couple of years ago before I decided to enter into a relationship.

Just have FUN!

Enjoy the damn ride and do not turn back. Should there be any bumps in my way, I must slow down and brake so that it wont hit me too hard on the tushie.

Dood.. Chillax!

I am obsessed with the word chillax [chill + relax] so feel free to use it because i'm contagious, i know.

I am stressing on the word chillax, because believe you me, if you can master the art of chillaxing, it will add value to your personality and attractiveness.

Now i am not just an ordinary dr. love. But i have not been paid accordingly, so I keep a low profile, because hey, my expertise should not be free. but its okay, today, i'm going to demonstrate yet another extraordinary series of advise for young people who cannot chillax in the course of enjoying their youths, in hope for someone to recognize my talent and make me BIG like my guru, John Gray.


Chillax formula #1
the spider web anology: observe the spider when it constructs its web. the more time the spider spends on constructing the web, the better the quality of the construction is. correct?

when the web is done, the spider chillaxes at the corner of the somewhat invisible web it had constructed, until its victim is trapped in the web.

so chillaxing is a reward by itself, after u've done a hard work that you dont even need to make known to people. it is easier to succeed, when u chillax and keep a low profile because then not many people will get in your way.

I'm sorry, because i'm not getting paid for this, I will stop here, although I have a gazillion more chillax formulas.

Remember, we all can be as desirable as the forbidden apple in the garden of eden if we just CHILLAX!

motivation #1

The silentness of this chambering room is eerie. I realized they need my noise pollution more than anything now. Unfortunately, I will be gone, forever.

I do not appreciate this silence as I am freaking out like crazy before I enter my Master's room. This is the woman who will make me feel very very small everytime I see her. This is the woman who almost made me a quitter. This is the woman who demotivated me for the past 9 months.

I was literally dehydrated before I came to this place. The thought of meeting this woman has made me restless and suicidal.

I CANNOT FEAR ANYONE OTHER THAN MY CREATOR.

I CANNOT FEAR ANYONE OTHER THAN MY CREATOR.

I CANNOT FEAR ANYONE OTHER THAN MY CREATOR.

born, finally!

9 months of pupilage can be simply illustrated with the concept of pregnancy.

You get stirred by the thought of being pregnant, and then when ur actually going through the morning sicknesses, the storm which brings about hurricane to ur hormones and directly affect ur mood and the physical change to ur belly, u cant help but start to regret: why oh why did I get myself into this snafu.

U then get through the days with the support of ur loved ones, reminding urself every single second of the day that once this baby is born, it'll all be worth it, u'll be the happiest person in this world, and while waiting for that magical day to come, ur imagination lingers around what that day would be like, how the baby would look like, and worry to a certain degree as to whether or not u will survive.

Once the baby is born, everything seems so perfect, everyone seems to be delighted, proud, happy, and u have just achieved one of the proudest and biggest moment of ur life. But seconds or hours before that baby was born, was the most crucial time for u. All the 'pushing' effort seemed endless and u could have sworn that ur life will end any moment at that time.

I have never been pregnant or gave birth to anyone, but i have now the scars with that baby in my hands.

To my fellow chambees, we did it!

Relax lah, kak.

Watching other people get old is a funbrain activity for a young one like me. heheh. But it also mean the young one has to get out and get the old one a present.

I enjoy looking out for presents for my friends; i cant really explain the jollity and the rush i get from doing it. If I have infinity dollars, i would like to do this exuberant activity every single day for the rest of my life.

Which got me thinking: I think I just invented a job. I could advertise myself as the "Present Finder" where I provide service of finding the perfect gift for the individualistic city people who just do not have time to get out and get presents for their loved ones. All they need is to email me and provide me with a budget and maybe a brief description of the recipient. And then upon delivery of the present, they pay me some amount of service charge. When I am established, I will set up a website and my clients can simply order thru the net and make payment thru e-banking(?).

Note to self: learn about e-payment and e-present business.

Now that I've got you in my imagination, lets flashback to what happened earlier today. Bangang punya kakak Jusco.

That's the introduction, here's the body. As soon as I purchased a ******* for my friend, I wanted to go get a box to scrunch the present in. So I went to Jusco, where the customer service counter is placed, to get myself one of those fancy boxes.

My gift is jumbo in size, elephantine kind of gift you see. So i wanted to grab the largest box which was placed at the bottom of a shelf that is out of my reach. On top of that box were two smaller similar looking boxes.

Being the ordinary klutzy me, I reached for the jumbo box which had the two boxes on top of it fell on the kakak jusco who was standing on the other side of the counter. I said sorry so many times, and although I tried extremely hard to conceal my laugh, i could not. Okay sorry. (see, i said sorry again).

SHE STUNG ME WITH THE MOST VENOMOUS LOOK, and I felt myself shrinking into an ant.

The rest of the customers stared at me, with the same look of hatred, or at least that was what i imagined.

I walked away, feeling very ashamed, and tearful, headed straight to the 5 ringgit shop and settled for a paper bag to chunk my gift in.

HuwaaaaaAAAaaaAAAAAAAA~~~!!!