hair lossssssiot!

Never set foot in-

• beauty places own by ugly dying ducklings




• places specializing in hair loss products

Take my advice or you will suffer the consequences.

Experiencing the unforgettable & making the most unthinkable mistake has been inevitable in my life. As I age, challenges become parasitical to I.

*breaks down in tears*

I accidentally let myself into this hell hole- thinking it was just an ordinary hair saloon, with the purest intention to get my hair washed.

Turns out, it was a "hair saloon" which sells hair loss products and treatments for hair loss and those treatments are not something I would need k!

Needless to say, I was being criticized from the moment I set foot in that saloon.

Rambut gugur..

Syampu ape u pakai..

U must treat ur hair from now..

F*** lady! Dont criticize my hair! Just wash and blow it; take my money and make me feel good about myself!!!!!

She didnt even do a good job at washing and blowing my hair as she was too busy criticizing my hair..... =((

That was the first time I ever came out from a BEAUTY saloon feeling UGLY.

Alone

Being alone has unfortunately became a routine in my life. Of course Ryzal can immediately relate to this, but he's a kid and I'm very excited to see what he will grow up to be, from all the crazymonkeyness and weirdness of Wan Utama. [Wan Utama or Wantama in short, is what I call my family- something like when u dont call ur dad- dad, but rather his first name, example "Hey Wan Abu Bakar."]

Very kurang ajar for orang melayu, but Wan Utama has no limitations no boundaries its amazing how we live like that. And we often talk like this with no full stops just words of sarcasm however very true because we do not lie as there is no need to lie when u simply speak your heart out and it does not matter what other people think of what we have to say. We do not care like that. We do not give a damn like that. We are not stressed out like that. We are so full of ourselves like that. What you think of us is none of our business. Cool?

So I wil be home alone tonite as I could not be bothered to inquire what Wan Utama has planned for the school holidays and Wan Utama never bothered to inform. We are ignorant like that. But when I was told about it, it was Ryzal who said: Arent you going to Penang and Alore-Sir-Tar (Alor Setar) with us?

Ryzal is orang putih like that. He cant speak Bahasa Melayu like that. Thats the end of the world for other families. Not Wan Utama.

Things to do tonite:

1. Lock front door but dont have to lock or even close the bathroom door hey!


2. Look out for hantu.


3. Do fun projects.


4. Go out til very late, watch midnight movies.

.....ngh I have work tomorrow morning. My parents are very very thankful for this I betcha.

Abort all plans except closing bathroom door.

tagged!

1) Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right now.
2) Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
3) Post that picture with NO editing.
4) Post these instruction with your picture.
5) Tag 10 people to do this

Here are the rules:

Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
Share seven facts about yourself on your blog – some random, some weird.
Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

This tanduk setan pic is unfortunately my latest pic. I know its edited and that's against the rules, but I just wanna show off what my new phone can do, ok? hehehehe...

What else does the rule say...? Oh link Farah.

Pastu... 7 facts about myself ke? *malu*

Satu- I bite my nails like its nobodys business and my mother threatened me to stop by saying I will never get married because when its time to sarung cincin, my jari will look hideous. I told mom I will wear kuku palsu.

Dua- Do u know those kacang tanah with yellow covered skin (the skin is made out of tepung and the yellow color is the artificial coloring)? When I eat those nuts, I will suck on the salty yellow colored skin, eat the skin and throw away the kacang.

Tiga- I have a secret handshake with my little brother Ryzal. Whenever he wants anything from me or I want anything from him, either one of us must first perform the secret handshake. Its top secret stuff, no one in the family knows how the handshake looks like.

Empat- I secretly want to be a relationship expert, but nothing like a fortune teller u know. I want to do this for a living because this is my passion, advising people, but not advising people by producing legal opinion. I am however stuck with the latter.

Lima- Everybody thinks I am sombong when they first get to know me. I'm sorry I inherited a lot of my dad's traits although I look more like my mom. But if you catch me at the right time I'm actually quite chirpy like the Starbucks' baristas.

Enam- I am my mother's masseuse. She used to pay me rm5 when i was younger but now with the unpredictable harga minyak, she pays me rm10.

Tujuh- I am sucha makcik, I am really really really into fabrics and fesyen baju kurung! I think baju kurung is never outdated and it is so interesting. My interest extends to kebayas as well.

Pastu... tag 7 people ke?

1. Dinie

2. Ainsafian

3. Yaty

4. Shireen

5. Aadela

6. Ayah (I'm running out of people)

7. Kiki

Okay I hope everyone will have a better pic than mine! Byeeeee.... =)

Losing mac............................

This morning, the hot fm a.m. crew talked about taking something that belongs to others. I was tempted to give them a ring while driving to work this morning, until they drew a context to that hot chat topic, i.e. taking someone else's partner or significant other.

It is understandable that in the malay realm the context of taking other's possessions are always being directed to someone's husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend; for the simple reason- those persons are always the subject of "theft".

Being a pseudo-malay [*find definition of pseudo-malay below], I struggle to understand how people can live with no boundaries and limitations when it comes to having desire towards another being. Ideally, many people blame it on the imperfections of being a human being, but I personally think as human beings we are granted with a faculty that has the ability to control those imperfections.

Having said that, I advice you to have firm principles in life, for you will be able to go through any temptations if guided by firm principles.

I always advise people on the dos and donts of minggling with another being, particularly the opposite sex. But at the end of the day, its a matter of principle. I shall not impose my beliefs on you, but I can keep reminding you.

If people were to have a clear idea of the boundaries they must observe, maybe we dont have to discuss the said hot chat topic.

But I reckon we will never have a perfect world.

So the context was the boundary that has been set and I oblige to it. For my story is in another context.

I lost my M.A.C lightful compact powder to someone. This is so devastating to me because as a student I dreamt of possessing this make-up brand. Everytime I had special occasions in school, I'd always use my mom's brands which were Estee Lauder, Dior, and other orang tua brands. But I secretly had my own favorite brand and I secretly wished that one day I will be able to own any make-up of M.A.C.

The day I bought my own M.A.C, was the day I ended all my M.A.C googling activities. For there was no need to google and stare at the pictures anymore. Ilya had witnessed my joy!(ful) moment so she can tell you it was not an ordinary purchase for me, it was an achievement.

Its okay if you cannot understand how women like Mama, Ilya and I get stirred and emotionally aroused when we puchase beauty products. But as far as we are concerned, make- ups are more than just the tool that makes the face pretty.

It hands you the confidence even on your roughest day. When I know I will not do well for a paper in law school, instead of sulking on how I should've studied harder or go out less, I get ready 30 minutes before the exam and doll myself up with make-up. I will then tell myself: If I am going to fail this paper, at least I do it beautifully. Silly I know, but make-up is my bestest buddy and my all time therapy.

Sometimes people take your stuff because they think you can easily afford it. Little do they know that people like me get what I want because I work for it.

This is a reminder sent to me to be a little more careful and not so trusting. Apparently people are only holy during the months of Ramadhan and Syawal.

*Pseudo-malay: English speaking malay with scripted perception about rempits and other malays' unacceptable social behaviour. Socializes in clean, civilized manner.

What is wrong with you, bin lady?

I have been observing the bin lady who comes in at a certain a.m and at 3p.m. everyday to my department to collect our wastes in our waste paper baskets. [I'm not sure what time she comes in the morning because I had not awaken to really notice. I am only awake after lunch, bossssss.... *tone mengampu*]

I have been watching her for about a month now.

She would collect wastes from each and every bin, Except mine!

So today, I swapped my bin with my boss' bin.

At 3p.m., bin lady came in with a plastik hitam in her right hand. As usual, she did not even come near my bin (previously my boss' bin). She peeped at my boss' bin (previously my bin).

....She then walked away. Without clearing my boss' bin.

I was stumped!

Could she have known that I had swapped the bins?
Could bin lady be clever enough to have read me and my wicked unsuccessful plan?
WHY wont you pick up my wastes bin lady??? WHY????

I am now obsessed to win bin lady's heart. I will stalk her. I will seduce her as if she's my bakal mak mertua!

Tak suka tau metrosexual men

Dandy, metro, narcissist- tak berkenan!

Have u ever eaten a bad grape? I just did, blueghhh!

A bad grape is more often than not, better than having to hear or see a dandy man talk. They should not live in my world. They hog my space in my shops.

they- should have died with the people of sodom.

I just came back from the Zara, Massimo Dutti and Pull & Bear warehouse sale. There were a few dandy men and one got on my nerve. There will always be that one bugger who will say or do something to me at the verge of me starting to convince myself, they too deserve to be there to enjoy those ridiculous discounts.

So dandy man said: White jackets should never exist. Who ever thought of white jackets!

Resting on my arm, was a white Zara jacket.

job-bubbaluba riang sebenar yeah

Dont you just hate it when ur given something to do, and you know what to do, but you dont know where to begin.....?

I love my job today.

But why is my job so susah? *menangis*

I figured I should blog this when I spent 30 minutes of staring at nothingness of the monitor, not knowing where to begin.

[What was I thinking entering the world of public utility engineeriousity?]

I should get the hang of this in one thou years. Lucky stars, I'm counting on you.

Good luck to me.... And to the rest of you monitor-staring blurists.

Together Forever

This is the gift I got this week. *Smmmile*

I always get presents. I love presents.

I cant wait to start reading this book!! I've memorized On a date, so I am now moving on to the next book.

My passion and thirst for learning about human behaviour will never stop and I cannot wait to share my knowledge with my friends who have DTR headaches. (Haha)

Thank you AIDIL for this unbirthday gift!!! =D. Suka!

I need ∞infinity∞ money

Despite having only 60 minutes for lunch everyday, (I count by the minute to prolong the time because pleaaaase la, I actually chew my food properly okay, so I eat verry verry slow... oh and in between, I yap. Hehe) sometimes I'll go back to my pseudo-mansion (I'm making fun of my house, not bragging about it, mind u) which is about 20 minutes away.

A fooking waste of time I know.

But, mannn, the feeling...... is priceless.

It instantly lifts up mother of all headaches, the Migrain; and the lil toddler headaches, the headache in the eye; headache from people who do not wear deodarants; headache from staring too long at scrabble on the computer (whoops); starting-my-own-business headache; and oh i sometimes get the what-to-eat-for-lunch headache. Spoilt for choice we are, Damansaraians.

And of course my friends still have the DTR headache. DTR -"define the relationship".

I then thought: If I can buy a house somewhere near to my office, which is only a step away from my cuby for instance, then i could go home for lunch everyday and actually have at least what? 45 minutes of pricelessness?

Sadly sadly sadly... I work in Bangsar and a little bird told me that houses there begin from 765489035612K to 986222564533981017653427.5mil!!

Takpela......................................................................

birthday came early this year!

Quotable Quote: This question was put to me when I sarcastically told Mosantos they should read my blog more.

"How do you know what to write in your blog?"

Hoi Mat! Soalan apa tu?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

As much as I never "fail to amaze" them, hehe, they never fail to amaze me as well.

And.... We're all going to Jakarta for Mag's wedding in December and not just on any date in December, it will be on my BIRTHDAY!!!!! (You do know that's on the 11th, dont you?)

So I technically bought myself a birthday present already. hehe.

I cant wait to go to Jakarta!

I am so broke right now- thank God for my not-so-proud-of savings. =p.

Go on suckers, give me ur wishlists.... I'll make em come true. Hohoho Merry Christmas!

Shop Wise indeed

It is just too cliche to be quoting "be careful what you wish for", but seriously... I'll have to be very careful of what I long for from today onwards...

I remember wishing for a new handphone about a couple of months ago, and by wishing i mean- literally asking Aidil to give it to me as a birthday present (haha).

Turns out, while other girls (real people i know, i'm not making this up, this is not an illustration) go to shopping malls all dressed up just to stop every 5 minutes to take their own pics; I mean seriously, If u come from anywhere within 50 km from the shopping mall, just dont bother taking pics of yourself at the shopping mall just to add another album in friendster or facebook. I am tired of seeing the same face and different clothes that I know exactly what the price is and where you bought it.

Because I really shop and not pegi shopping mall to take pics. It is not an event at all, when you go to that shopping mall every other day doing the same thing.

And of course in Dinie's words, "because I can offer a good conversation over a cuppa coffee" or whatever it is you're eating, I do not need to pause every 5 seconds to take my own pics; or the pic of the food that I just ordered for that matter. Yea yea yea its bloggable but seriously now...?

So I always shop seriously and there is no way I was getting recognition for that, until...... I was announced as the 5th winner of the One Utama's Shop Wise Win Big contest! =D

I won a Sony Ericsson T650i handphone and i thank God for it because:

1. I wanted to get rid of my flip phone because selalu rosak. (i love the KRZR nevertheless)

2. I'd rather win the hp than winning OSIM's giddy up work out machine.

3. I gave Aidil 2 choices for my birthday present checklist. Handphone or diamond ring.

Looks like he'll have to get me the diamond ring now. =p

Respetos

The title of this entry is in Spanish, in hope for my blog to appear in the list when the Spanish google for the word 'respect'. Yea, fat chance, i know.

With the festive season coming, so do headaches and arguments about whether or not the Wan Utama should host a (grand) open house. Given the fact that we are fishes out of water when it comes to organizing social events because we dgad and we are people who rely on other people religiously; the Planning Division of the Female Department is faced with a lot of trouble. And by Planning Division I mean Me. Always Me. Not exaggerated enough. Alwaaaaaaayyyyyssssss Me. There.

But-
Because I failed to realize this dream last year, I am determine to get it done this time around because hey- I get to be all dressed to the nine and so will my mom (she enjoys only this part of the event, jangan tipu). haha.

The organizing has taken place, and check this- because this task is meant for mothers and makciks to do, i.e. because in other families, mothers are the Planning Division, but in Wan Utama, we have a deary, special, one of a kind mom; who wants to see results per se, someone has to do the dirrrty job kan?

I enjoy it, seriously. Except when these caterers start calling me Puan. Thank you very much, all of you just pronounced me as Wife, Mother, Makcik, Mak Ngah if u must. "Its like taking a bullet" Carrie would say. *sigh*

It is nevertheless a sign of respect. And I applaud you caterers for that. But sorry I have to reject your proposals. The Planning Division refuses to justify reasons for our rejection. Common sense will tell you, we are people who cannot afford your quotations. =p.

Now that we are in the whole respect area, and only 4 days away from Raya(!), I take myself to this year's 4th of June, when i paid my last respect to my dear friend, Salman. Salman was killed in a langgar lari accident and it shocked the entire SSP clan. Most of us were at his funeral and I let my tears fell during the talkin. I havent seen neither Salman nor the SSP clan for almost 12 years, and hey, who'd have thought God reunited us at this holy place that reminded us of our existence and our abolition.

This Hari Raya is a good time for all of us to pay our respects to our parents, siblings, relatives, colleagues and of course those who have left us.

Those down under will be very sad with the coming of Syawal as they will go back to their daily routine of being questioned and judged. How do we feel about the coming of Syawal? The total opposite, right?

Selamat Hari Raya

(Searching high and low for Islamic calendar to know what day of Ramadhan is it)
Are there no Islamic Calendars in this chilly lagi beamy office??

*checks my American phone*
Nope. No Islamic calendar in here.

*makes reminder note*
MUST BUY ISLAMIC CALENDAR.

To be counting secara logic, today is the 24th of Ramadhan is it not?

So why does my hunger, fatigueness, sleepyness, migrain-ess and grumpiness resembles my previous state of unhealthiness on the 1st day of Ramadhan..? Hmmm. Owh. I am technically on my 1st day again *blushes* after having had my exemption.

It is now 3:44pm and it feels as though I have been in this office for eternity. This very final week before Hari Raya is a real challenge I tell ya. Can u hear me squawking in here? *SQWWWUUAAKKK* I mean, seriously, I have been dreaming of taking ELs for 2 days in a row now.

After sahur, I'd sleep and just before I get up to get ready to work, I'd have these dreams. The 1st one, I swear I looked like Angelina Jolie but I was me. I had a partner in crime, travelled to strange places, attempting to escape from someone who was chasing us. Very interesting dream, but all I could think about while I was on the run was- What do I tell my boss for not turning up to work today?

Today's dream was a little disappointing because I was no longer Angie Jolie Pitt. I was me- not in the office, attending Ilya's long call. haha. So i had a good excuse to take EL!

And then of course my mom woke me up. I grabbed last week's shirt and put it on. Eww. I cant be bothered anymore. I just need to get over this week, I just want to berhari raya hari yang mulia penuh bererti kepada semua tua muda miskin dan kaya menyambutnya dengan GEMBIRAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Oh;

Berhati-hati di jalan raya
Semoga anda selamat tiba
Ucapan selamat hari raya
dari *** untuk semuaaaaaa....

This year I bought baju rayas for myself (Lima!), made my own kuih raya (but I will buy kuihs like Mama Carrie and Sarang Semut because I dont know how to make them), pay zakat on my own (bangganya!) and will be giving out duit raya (tak mampunya!).

May God have mercy on me and shower me with duit raya this year. But I doubt it. But I shall never give up praying for it. =p. I'm sucha damsel in distress ke? Anyways..........

Pecah Kaca,
Depan Posmen,

Sudah Baca,

Harap Komen.

wonderment

Doesnt it bother you, or at least make you chew over the fact that God plans to make Anwar our PM 10 years after Mahathir scheduled him to be...?

Mesti ada sebab.

mom, look what work has done to me

Before we go to my Whine Kingdom, I would like to Thank God Its Friday! *dancing in my tights*

Although the date shows that it is Saturday, we are technically still on a Friday night. Do not argue with someone who just had McDonalds, because I feel good right now :)

So mom,

I was extremely tired from a whole week of in-house counsel-ing, and I was out 4 nights in a row to fulfill my social responsibility to people I call friends.

Note: I missed home like crazy and today I was so happy to be back eating my favourite kuih and my favourite ayam and home is not like those posh restaurants I go to, but home is where I belong. Posh restaurants are temporary in nature and suck the wall-E t. =p.

Note2: My friends are people I wouldnt want to exchange for diamonds. They are That valuable because I do not trust many people and so I do not have many friends. I am to a certain extent beyond sad, but seriously, I think I'm happier than most people because I surround myself with people who are real. Can we talk about my super long slumber now?

So after my buka puasa I slept for about forever-ish and that must've been 5-6 hours. And in between, I could've sworn I was exchanging smses with Aidil. And in that very cloudy state of mind I find myself appreciating him being tolerant and having an understanding that is so keen towards my dont-give-a-damness.

I Should slay myself sometimes.

Anyway, I then woke up at about 1am, went to McDonalds and now I cant sleep.

Work has made me forget my blogger password because i keep typing my webmail password instead, work has made me hate sunday nights as I will be hours away from monday but work has made me appreciate weekends and has made me miss my good ol wasted days, but work will make me rich so I will work and work will pay me so lets all work because if we dont work we will not be using our time wisely and will not be of any contribution to the country but I just wish work will not make me age so fast and instead make me look and sound smarter at least so that everyone will want to be like me especially my kids.

Speaking of kids, i wanna be a kid again, mom.

i want to just cry when something doesnt go my way or when something hurts me or when someone scolds me, I want to be able to make mistakes and not get blamed for it, i want to wake up and sleep anytime i want, i want to receive hugs and kisses from my loved ones regardless of my behaviour, i want to pee and not flush, play in the rain and get sick and have someone make hot milo for me, i want to eat as many lollies and candies without having to pay for it, and i want to have people drive me around and not drive to work all alone everyday laughing at some joke on the radio alone.

okay mom? bye mom.

the historic September 16th!

I am anxiously waiting for September 16th to come :)

I suppose the day will be rather ordinary (and by ordinary I mean, it stand to reason that if you think someone is guilty before this date, u will still think he is guilty) for individuals- like you and I, but for the country and its political institution- this day will be remembered like the day Kemal Ataturk established the Republic of Turkey and liberated the country through the political, legal, cultural, social and economic reforms that were implemented to transform the Republic of Turkey into a modern, secular nation-state; or September 16th will be remembered like the time when Karl Marx said: You can buy any car of any color as long as its black.

No, Karl Marx did not say that. It was a joke widely known in those days to describe the dictatorship practiced by him. Gotcha.

Truthfully I do not know what will happen on September 16th. Rumor has it our country will have a new Prime Minister. That I'd like to see...

On a personal level, I'd say that this day will highlight that tyranny will never prevail, and that real leadership qualities defeat leaders who inherit their position from their old man. Heheh.

To September 16th! C(T)H(a)E(k)E(b)R(i)S(r)!!

chillax dinies yo daddy

today's dinie's interview.

I hope he'll just calm down and know that we're all here to support him no matter what happens.

Its all gonna be good.

We all screw things up once in a while in life, and i think i just did too.

I hope you wont lose what u have, and i sure hope i wont lose what i have.

gdluck dinie. we love you!!

Post OBS

As I slouch myself in my boss' semi comfortable chair and feels a sheer of awkwardness for not having lunch and is in fact at the office during lunch hour, I start missing Lumut and everything that it had taught me during the entire 17 days I surrendered my soul there. OBS in Lumut simply put, metaphorically- a fusion of perfect storms and hard earned sunshine.

I refuse to bore you with the chronology of my daily activities in OBS, although going through the expeditions and outdoor activities were so much fun! Typically for someone who has never done any outdoorsy activities before, every single experience was jakunable and to a large extent triggered excitement in my soul. There were of course moments when I felt like crying after having completed an obstacle such as the rope obstacle, rappelling and rock climbing.

I was not going to cry because I was made to do it, I wanted to cry because I begin to appreciate how valuable life is-literally.

Imagine having to slide ur feet on two cable strings and balancing ur body with a bizarre looking blue ball attached to another string above ur head. My knees were literally shaking when I started to walk on the strings. So at that spur of the moment I thought, the only way to make this realizable, was to calm down because at the speed of the vibration my knees were going, it was confirmed that I would fall flat on the ground if I did not calm myself down.

Of course calming myself down means shrieking on top of my lungs first, then baca doa 1000 kali. Of course I would portray myself as gedik when my screaming can be heard, but not my bacaan doa. =p.

Anyways, to sum up everything, I did kayak, whaler, flying fox, various suicidal rope activities, rafting, jungle trekking to hell, and solo camping. There were OBS olympics, poco-poco and aerobics session in between the never-ending expeditions.

I LOVE poco-poco.

Water activities (kayak, rafting and whaler) were my least favourite as I hate going into the water with my life jacket because even with the jacket, I still think the sea is too big and the further I go, the more I'm not on flat land and hence bigger chances for me to just drown and disappear.

I dig solo camping the most!! The afflictions I got from the ceaseless challenging activities were instantly lifted by the sound of water streaming down the humongous and whopping 100-year old rocks, the sky blued upon me, the wind touched my face and swirled around my hair, the ants visited my food and shared my only meal with me- creatures of God that I failed to pay enough attention to back in my side of town which should never be disclosed. ehe. The combination of these elements around my solo camping site gave me the sensation of peace and tranquillity so it was at that point that I reached nirvana.

Nirvana: An ideal condition of rest, harmony, stability or joy. Aummmmmm.... *meditate*

I was lucky to have gotten that spot for my solo night out. I was more fortunate as 'noone' 'visited' me that night. We were told that with the right intention, solo camping would be smoothsailing without any interruption from 'them'. I carved that saying in my heart and on my mind, and as soon as I was left alone at my spot, I said in my heart that "I am here to apply the camping skills I've learned and I am here to overcome my one and only fear that is to sleep alone. Because success to me means to be able to overcome my fear(s)."

And so I succeeded. Alhamdulillah.

Maybe God had tested me enough throughout the 17 days that He gave me the taste of nirvana at solo camping. I will always remember that feeling, and will live my life trying to attain that feeling again as often as I can.

OBS forces its participants to reflect on him/herself. I did just that and found that the self-discovery I made 3 years ago matches my discovery today. I knew exactly who I am and it was that that made me survived the rest of them who were battling to discover themselves.

I am grateful for the opportunity to be sent to Lumut because I have begin to learn the importance of being able to handle my emotions and self-control during the mother of all stressful conditions.

It wan in OBS that I learn the real meaning of friendship.

And that a real leader is one who can lead him/herself and is not afraid to be the only one with the unpopular opinion and strongly defend that opinion even if it means having to go against everyone.

HOCHUWEI!!!!!!!

the before entry

Judging by my shortstuff physique, you can easily tell that I have lived my life based on mental strength and mental strength only.

And of course, unlimited personal standings, principles and philosophies have contributed a lot to this thing I call mental strength.

Hence this before entry is dedicated to myself, and to several people that matters to me, for the simple reason: to compare how right or wrong I am about OBS before and after OBS.

OBS: Outward Bound School, in Lumut, which I will surrender myself to for the next 3 weeks. So God Help me.

I am aware of the fact that I cannot do a lot of things especially anything physically challenging. Thus to make up to these weaknesses I do rubiks and I use bombastic words to scare the hell out of my opponents. [everyone is an opponent when u consider ur life a game. heheh]

So to myself;
Build up that mental strength, for you can do even the hardest thing in life if your mind is up for it. Should you lose your grip on anything in the big bad cruel jungle, close your eyes and hold on to your God, your loved ones and heck the nearest branches available.

When you fall into the water and feel helpless, think: i'm a mermaid. and swim, dammit.

When you're all alone and you feel scared, know that everyone else is going through the same thing and if you give up, you are not a winner in this game. =p.

Last but not least, do some soul searching while you're in the jungle, cos its about time...

Till we meet again, dont miss me too much! =D

rudeatude!

I often do one thing, and regret it almost instantly just to find a few days later, the silver lining starts to appear and demands me to acknowledge the fact that God Knows whats best for me.

Last Friday, at the Transmission briefing [i am in the electricity business now, bear with my electrified terms], i was the first to rush to the penthouse pantry for my morning tea break. As I championed the who-gets-the-roti-jala-first battle, I got a special invitation from the VIP to sit at his table. I quickly pulled two other girls to join me.

Sitting at the VIP's table was just plain dreadful. The roti jala was crazy delicious, but there was no way I could have roti jala tambah. D'oh!

But for every roti jala i lost, there were useful lessons given to us by the VIP. As someone who has grown successfully in his career, he told us that the most important thing for our survival in the workplace is to gain people's respect and trust.

And by gaining people's respect, he meant for us to initially respect other people first.

Okay, thank you... [there goes my kuih seri muka as the next briefing was about to start...]

While i was busy having regrets and pledging to myself never to rush into the pantry again, I encountered a classic example of a rudeatude person while watching SATC [for the 2nd time and is just annoyed when someone laughs out loud at the jokes to announce to people that i-so-get-this-joke, just like when I watched The Simpsons].

Truth be told, many Malaysians got CARRIEd away by the fact that this was an american series that they Must know and Must make known to people that they know, you know?

So back to this rudeatude bic whose cellphone did not ring or vibrate even once in that 3 hours and got so annoyed when mine did. Excuse me, some of us are Really Carrie Bradshaws and we do have boyfriends.

So she rudely interrupted the non-interrupting silent me by saying: Can you please just forget about your handphone???

This is a bic who does not deserve anyone's respect, because she does not respect others.

Silver lines outline a lot of things that is happening in my life now and I am blessed to have encountered many rudities as I begin to elevate to a whole other level from these experiences.

KJ tenkiuuuuu..... =p

pout master

[I interrupt this blog with my blogarrhea]

Notice how guys swarm over freebies like bees groupie and Queen bee in migration to establish a new colony?

I'm no different.

I jumped to the idea of going on a free trip to Cameron Highlands last saturday and instantly became a pout master.

We have all seen pouts being the abercrombie of our faces in friendster and facebook. Some of us are even labelled as the pout slut due to too much pouts being displayed in our profile. You may want to stop the brutality on yourself and others. LOL. [i'm quite the facebooker these days].

Fortunately, I know my pouts are fugly, so you wont see pouts in any of my uploaded photos for the simple reason, they are not uploadable.

However, there is one exception to most limitations i set to myself. When i see yellow listed kids, I pout. Kids [or adults] who do not wash their hands after urinating is in my yellow list. Noted?

To my surprise, most of these generation Z kids have not discovered the pouting power in them! So thanks to me, they are now pouting their way to success!

Bla bloo Bla bloo, Bla haba bubu naa!

what the h- is congenital?

Exactly, right..? Nobody in the legal world can answer this one. Being the scare-anoid person that i am, even the idea of going to a medical check up had already scared the bejesus outta me.

So anyway, all went well except for my X-ray test. The result came out printed in Courier New font:

CHEST ( PA ) :

The heart size is normal.

No focal parenchymal lung lesion.

No hilar or mediastinal lymphadenopathy.

There is fusion of the right 2nd and 3rd ribs, likely congenital.

Freak-a-doodle out I became when i saw the last sentence, picked up the phone and rang my dad.

I read out the words in the last sentence loudly and s l o w l y so he could make out what I was trying to say.

Then i found out congenital means my 2nd and 3rd ribs were joined since birth. What????

What, am I like abnormal or something?? Hey who crushed my soft shell crab like ribs until it fused together 24 years ago??

I am going to take care of my ribs very carefully from now on. Nobody come near me, ya hear?? Nobody!

All SHIrTy Again!!!

Work is coming to get me on June 23rd!!!! I cant wait to get all shirty again!!!! hahahahahahaha *trembles but trying to hide it*

I need a lot of clothes to make me happy and motivated to go to work. Oh and make up too. And a NoNo-Nonsense looking bag.

I pray hard that my blurness will decrease and please please release me from the chandler syndrome i.e. making stupid jokes in front of strangers when i'm nervous.

If there is one advice i can give myself right now, it would be the exact same advice I gave to myself a couple of years ago before I decided to enter into a relationship.

Just have FUN!

Enjoy the damn ride and do not turn back. Should there be any bumps in my way, I must slow down and brake so that it wont hit me too hard on the tushie.

Dood.. Chillax!

I am obsessed with the word chillax [chill + relax] so feel free to use it because i'm contagious, i know.

I am stressing on the word chillax, because believe you me, if you can master the art of chillaxing, it will add value to your personality and attractiveness.

Now i am not just an ordinary dr. love. But i have not been paid accordingly, so I keep a low profile, because hey, my expertise should not be free. but its okay, today, i'm going to demonstrate yet another extraordinary series of advise for young people who cannot chillax in the course of enjoying their youths, in hope for someone to recognize my talent and make me BIG like my guru, John Gray.


Chillax formula #1
the spider web anology: observe the spider when it constructs its web. the more time the spider spends on constructing the web, the better the quality of the construction is. correct?

when the web is done, the spider chillaxes at the corner of the somewhat invisible web it had constructed, until its victim is trapped in the web.

so chillaxing is a reward by itself, after u've done a hard work that you dont even need to make known to people. it is easier to succeed, when u chillax and keep a low profile because then not many people will get in your way.

I'm sorry, because i'm not getting paid for this, I will stop here, although I have a gazillion more chillax formulas.

Remember, we all can be as desirable as the forbidden apple in the garden of eden if we just CHILLAX!

motivation #1

The silentness of this chambering room is eerie. I realized they need my noise pollution more than anything now. Unfortunately, I will be gone, forever.

I do not appreciate this silence as I am freaking out like crazy before I enter my Master's room. This is the woman who will make me feel very very small everytime I see her. This is the woman who almost made me a quitter. This is the woman who demotivated me for the past 9 months.

I was literally dehydrated before I came to this place. The thought of meeting this woman has made me restless and suicidal.

I CANNOT FEAR ANYONE OTHER THAN MY CREATOR.

I CANNOT FEAR ANYONE OTHER THAN MY CREATOR.

I CANNOT FEAR ANYONE OTHER THAN MY CREATOR.

born, finally!

9 months of pupilage can be simply illustrated with the concept of pregnancy.

You get stirred by the thought of being pregnant, and then when ur actually going through the morning sicknesses, the storm which brings about hurricane to ur hormones and directly affect ur mood and the physical change to ur belly, u cant help but start to regret: why oh why did I get myself into this snafu.

U then get through the days with the support of ur loved ones, reminding urself every single second of the day that once this baby is born, it'll all be worth it, u'll be the happiest person in this world, and while waiting for that magical day to come, ur imagination lingers around what that day would be like, how the baby would look like, and worry to a certain degree as to whether or not u will survive.

Once the baby is born, everything seems so perfect, everyone seems to be delighted, proud, happy, and u have just achieved one of the proudest and biggest moment of ur life. But seconds or hours before that baby was born, was the most crucial time for u. All the 'pushing' effort seemed endless and u could have sworn that ur life will end any moment at that time.

I have never been pregnant or gave birth to anyone, but i have now the scars with that baby in my hands.

To my fellow chambees, we did it!

Relax lah, kak.

Watching other people get old is a funbrain activity for a young one like me. heheh. But it also mean the young one has to get out and get the old one a present.

I enjoy looking out for presents for my friends; i cant really explain the jollity and the rush i get from doing it. If I have infinity dollars, i would like to do this exuberant activity every single day for the rest of my life.

Which got me thinking: I think I just invented a job. I could advertise myself as the "Present Finder" where I provide service of finding the perfect gift for the individualistic city people who just do not have time to get out and get presents for their loved ones. All they need is to email me and provide me with a budget and maybe a brief description of the recipient. And then upon delivery of the present, they pay me some amount of service charge. When I am established, I will set up a website and my clients can simply order thru the net and make payment thru e-banking(?).

Note to self: learn about e-payment and e-present business.

Now that I've got you in my imagination, lets flashback to what happened earlier today. Bangang punya kakak Jusco.

That's the introduction, here's the body. As soon as I purchased a ******* for my friend, I wanted to go get a box to scrunch the present in. So I went to Jusco, where the customer service counter is placed, to get myself one of those fancy boxes.

My gift is jumbo in size, elephantine kind of gift you see. So i wanted to grab the largest box which was placed at the bottom of a shelf that is out of my reach. On top of that box were two smaller similar looking boxes.

Being the ordinary klutzy me, I reached for the jumbo box which had the two boxes on top of it fell on the kakak jusco who was standing on the other side of the counter. I said sorry so many times, and although I tried extremely hard to conceal my laugh, i could not. Okay sorry. (see, i said sorry again).

SHE STUNG ME WITH THE MOST VENOMOUS LOOK, and I felt myself shrinking into an ant.

The rest of the customers stared at me, with the same look of hatred, or at least that was what i imagined.

I walked away, feeling very ashamed, and tearful, headed straight to the 5 ringgit shop and settled for a paper bag to chunk my gift in.

HuwaaaaaAAAaaaAAAAAAAA~~~!!!

Addictive!!!

I used to LOVE composing essays

As far as the language of body is concern, when you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is drag yourself up half-way, and then slams it rrrright back to bed, you are hating your job.

In my very pessimistic head, jobs are in the draconian thought section.

I am at this stage where I attend job interviews looking like the part, but truthfully, feeling a lot like a zombie in disguise. I am just going for the sake of keeping my promises to HR Managers and pleasing myself when i hear (legal) jargons after jargons being thrown outta my mouth.

I am going to feel like a total idiot when i read this entry again in 5 years time.

As you are reading this, I am probably half way completing an essay about myself. Well, in Mr. Adrian's words: your personality, strengths and weaknesses.

Why am i dreading this...? In school, essay composition was the only reason I stayed alive, because obviously add maths was fatal. Simply put, if you were to compile my essays, it'd sell better than Khairuddin Ayip's 100 Karangan Contoh untuk UPSR/PMR/SPM.

If Mr. Adrian wants to know about my personality, strengths and weaknesses; allow me to define myself.

Personality: I talk fast.

Strength: I learn faster.

Weakness: I judge people fastest.

If i was not afraid of people associating me with bimbos, I really would like to learn how to make hair and make up as i enjoy making others look pretty. Unfortunately, that will also mean I'd murder all transexual and bapuk clients who walk into my saloon.

My Sister's Wedding

With Ilya being married to the man she bagged 6years ago, the spotlight is inevitably on this lil sister. I dont need extra attention, but the spotlight simply means I get to philosphize more, and i enjoy making others look shallow.

Philosophy #1
Ilya is married because she's 27.
A lot of 27 year old women would consider themselves very unsuccessful if they do not already have a person to call 'hubby' by the age of 27. As much as I think the word hubby is disgusting, the idea of having a hubby is quite alright as long as u dont call him hubby. Generation Y (that's babies born from 1980 to 1995) however, no longer care so much about the age factor, but rather bagging the right guy. because believe me, u dont want to spend 3 years dating someone else's husband and find out about his status from his 20 year old son.

Philosophy #2
Ilya is married because she has been with her boyfriend for 6 years.
Thats forever! If a guy doesnt propose you by that time, leave him. It is however not as easy as that. When u have been with a guy for 6 years, it is very hard to leave him because by that time u are gam gajahly attached to him (and possibly his family). Besides, starting all over again seems like an endless process. But believe me, u dont want to have to change religion so soon out of a promise to marry, to find that 6 years later, with 2 illegitimate kids, the guy Still doesnt want to marry you. So be very careful if you're approaching ur 6th year of relationship. If there are no indications, leave.

Philosophy #3
Ilya has only been married for a week, gimme a break.
I'm not against the idea, but please, gimme a frikin break, the bunga manggars are still standing on my front gate for goodness sake. haha.

Philosophy #4
Most of my friends cant afford to give me my dream wedding presents yet. hahahahahaha. Okay2, main2 main2..

Apart from me being pissed off for just about everything related to work at the moment, I am thrilled and very very happy for my sister Ilya, for having elevated to the status of wife and I assure you my mom is the happiest person on earth right now. Thank God for your marriage Ilya, i can do whatever the annoying hell i like and not get scolded by mama, but i give her 1 month before being naggy waggy again.

I advise my friends to stop asking me out and start hunting for man because as much as hanging out with a marriage philospher like me is fun, hearing what u want to hear (that it is okay to be single at the age of 24) is bad for your health. =p.

Just Visiting

I'm a board game enthusiast, Mr. Monopoly will not beg to differ. In today's graceful development of computer games, i do at times play monopoly in the computer and that, my friend, was my numero uno substitute to reading statutes and reported cases in law school.

A lot of people can relate to my board game fetishism, i'm sure. [board games include: monopoly, scrabble, portable scrabble, chess, rubik's cube. hehe]

Monopoly rocks, as long as you dont roll doubles 3 times in a row and be sent to jail. If you have a get-out-of-jail card, then u'd be secretly wishing that you do end up in jail to stylishly irk the heck outta the other players. and by stylish i mean, to hold the jail card in between your index and middle finger [as if holding a cigarette] and handing it over to the banker with a tiny smirk on ur face. TOLDJA I'M A BOARD GAME ENTHUSIAST.

And then there's the "just visiting" moments where you miss a turn to frikin visit the jail, and That has caused you to once again miss passing through Park Place and Boardwalk that you are dying to get hold of and build houses and hotels on! GRRRR.

WHY DO PEOPLE VISIT THE JAIL ANYWAY??

I dont ask myself that question anymore. I now have answers to that question.

Having had the opportunity to visit the Sg. Buloh and Kajang prison and to interview the detainees therein for my legal aid training, I often get these questions addressed to me:

1. How can you talk to them without feeling any disgust towards them?
2. How do you manage to keep a straight face when faced with criminals of rape & buggery with animal?
3. Why do you want to meet and talk to them?

As legal practitioners, we often forget the cardinal rule applicable to these criminals. Everyone is presumed innocent until proven guilty.

The detainess I met, be it for robbery, rape, possessing dangerous weapons, drug traffiking or prostitution, are people who have not even been tried by the courts and far from being pronounce as guilty of the offence.

Thus, the presumption that they're innocent apply.

That is how I manage to keep a straight face and not feel disgusted when I talk to them. Besides, when they talk to me, they were in their most vulnerable position, with hands cuffed and with the most inferior feeling towards free people such as you and i.

I am their last hope when no one else would even look at them in the eyes, what more to listen to their stories. Yes, they have admitted to me that they committed the crimes they are charged for, but it will not hurt to listen to their stories, lend an ear and look at them like they should be looked at- a human being.

I'm not on their side, but I do not want to punish someone before they get their official punishment from the judges (or from a lawyer who drafts the judge's judgment, boo you).

I'm begging you to consider the maxim innocent until proven guilty. If you want to say someone is guilty, you must bring forward facts and evidences that will strengthen your allegations.

Otherwise, we will be guilty of depriving their liberty.

And that is a crime against human rights.

So if you put someone who is innocent in jail, you are no different from them, a criminal who commits a crime against human rights.

So just because you're on the other side of the fence, dont you for one second think you have never committed a crime.

It is ironic for someone who initiated the building of Sg. Buloh prison to end up serving his sentence in that prison.

With no proof and jumbled up contradicting facts, he was nevertheless forced to pay for what he did not commit.

So before you even begin to judge these prisoners, consider the real criminals who are still on the loose.

And then VOTE accordingly. Heheh.

My Chinese New Year

"And verily, there were man among mankind who took shelter with the males among the jinn, but they (jinn) increased them (mankind) in sin and transgression." [72:6]

Sometimes when u go shopping, u carry with u more than shopping goodie bags home. My shopping experiences are always personally satisfying when I incur knowledge and have realization burdened onto my cerebrum.

This morning, I met a miraculously special man who has been damned by God. At least up till noon today. If he goes home and repent, then I take back my words, he is no longer the damnedest person on earth.

This man claimed he could turn strips of newspaper thrown into a portable wood drawer into cash. The catch is, u may not spend the cash, it has to be an "ibu duit". Should u spend the cash, the second u hand the cash to the recipient, the said cash will disappear. [ibu duit: a note or coin believably having the ability to suck in more cash into ur wallet. The Chinese believe that if u change handbags, never leave the previous bag empty, leave some coins or cash in it, to ensure the smoothness of the flow of ur income.]

Gong Xi Fa Cai, people. Another way to ensure smoothie flowy income, is to hand me those red packets, Thank You.

So the minute I heard the 'condition' i knew this man is indulging himself in the jinn business. An idiot could've figured it out as he kept summoning his 'Ya Rijal Ghaib' (Oh man who is invisible).

The idea is to give each audience the cash and they are to put it in a sack together with 3 rice grains. I know what you're thinking right now. A load of Bull. Exactly. Stay with me, please.

Of course there were other things, such as the 'batu cempaka something' which gives u the immunity from getting slashed by sharp objects. Also, wearing that batu will make the person who shakes hand with u like u instantly [recommended for people who plans to go to interviews and meeting new, potential boss.] The catch: One ringgit note, which u cannot spend, but Must be paid to a blind needy person.

For a moment, I expected the audience to share my disgust towards this man and my faith for the religion. To my surprise, when offered "Siapa nak batu ni?", more than 20 hands reached for the sky!

I walked away at this junction with disappointment travelling in my veins. Did I just witness more than 20 hands of Muslims wanting to participate in this damned absurdity?

"If you join others in worship with Allah, (then) surely, (all) your deeds will be in vain, and you will certainly be among the losers." [39:65]

It is not the genie in the drawer or the green stone that holds our fate. Allah is the One Whose help we seek.

I do want short cuts in red packages. I do not want short cuts that makes me commit actions of shirk.

kelly cabby

The absurd words of one man which I will always consider to be a motivation to Know that there is someone out there who can never be half the person that i am: "Desperate times do not always need desperate measures."

The ironic thing is, that statement he made, does not really reflect his daily actions. This is the man who is so desperate at all times, that he still climbed up a broken ladder after falling down twice, told a friend a lie to gain his bosses' attention and drained out his parents' cash to purchase a mansion.

Desperate times, DO need desperate measures, why cant u just agree with that? If u choose to be different, being gay is not the solution.

ANYWAYS. Here's a story about My desperate time.

Thinking that I was going to be late for my interview, I agreed to pay the cabby RM30 to get my suited lawyer a** to Nikko Hotel. I only agreed because I believed, in good faith, that the road was going to be congested.

It was a public holiday, and there was not one single car ahead of the cab to block it from speeding like a keling mabuk.

Got there in 15 frikin minutes! And had to pay RM30.

I stared at cabby's face as i handed him the RM50 note. He didnt dare to look into my eyes. He gave me my change and said thank you. The stumble in his voice comforted me, as there was a sense of guilt in the tone of his voice. At least he now realize what an arse he had been.

A lot of times, we are not the stupid ones although we are the victims. There are just people in this world who do not deserve our respect. I was a better person when I got out of that cab, knowing that if I had argued with the mabuk taxi driver, I would be breaching the verbal contract we made earlier. Contradicting my own words, would only make me a lawyer who will have a video featured in Youtube 15 years from now.

After all, kelly cabby probably needed the money more than I do. I know that because I am positive he will not be getting himself 1 million dollars from the Queen.

My rubik's cube

I am obsessed with rubik's cube, this is not new. I think about rubik's cube allllll the time, I stalk it, I go to Toys R Us just to stare at it, I google rubik's, I fantasize about rubik's, my frikin imaginary friend: is a dancing rubik's cube. =)

My obsession has led me to one thing, and one thing only: to make my own rubik's cube. And it is not just any ordinary rubik's cube, My cube will become every rubik's obsessor in this world wish they can have it, and they will have it by hook or by crook because it will become a collector's item, a special edition, the most expensive rubik's cube ever invented, ladies and gentlemen!

HAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

So here's My rubik's cube plan revealed to the world for the very first time.

My rubik's cube is made out of real stones and not cheap colored stickers on a plastic cube.

Yellow: Gold

Green: Emerald

White: Diamond

Blue: Sapphire

Red: Ruby

Orange: Topaz

I first need to get a million dollars to make one sample of My rubik's cube before showing it off to the world.

Aidil, HELP.

2 zero zero 8

Goodnight 2007.

I spent my last few hours of 2007 at Malaysia's eye, One Utama, Central park and The Curve. I was at "home" the whole time, basically.

But somehow or rather, It didnt feel like home that night.

There were a herd of calsbergers, tigerers and cheap beerers around, flocks of wild party explorers, gangs of wet snow sprayed teenagers and lets categorize myself into the pack of fireworks lovers.

Turning my head around, I could only see a vista of nothing but people forming an ocean of heads. Some covered heads were unfortunately in the front mosh pit, banging, jumping and dancing to the good loud music. This I would describe as a club so pack that it leaked.

Except, when you go to a club, you wont really get to see covered heads behaving as such. So just because it was done in the open and on the street, suddenly it is okay for them to act like clubbers?

Definitely an experience which made me appreciated Only the fireworks.

I thank the last minutes of the 2007 party for making me realize how much I've grown in the last 5 years.

Good Morning 2008.

You started our new year by pouring drops of rain on us. Were you crying of joy or were you mourning?